Soulfully Fed

  I am not perfect but I am guarded by perfection. Sometimes I can get so overwhelmed in my day to day activities I ignore who I have on my side. I am learning to actually trust God because he hasn't steered me wrong yet and always keeps his promises so why can't I keep mine? I fall sometimes but God quickly snatches me back up from the wickedness of my old thinking patterns and ways. I HAVE EXPERIENCED IT. For example, today I drunk some tea while doing some work and I knew I had set items to finish, the tea made me sleepy and I was nodding off until I HEARD "stand up" and I did, then I heard "sit down" then "stand up" and I stood up for awhile until I heard again "sit down". After following that I had energy and completed my work! Y'all just probably thinking all she did was stand up, nah I LISTENED.  If I don't follow the simple directions and solutions how could I possibly trust Him when the bigger ones arise? Sometimes God te

Guarded in Gods presense saves me from my day to day These poems took a turn that’s because I found my way Unlocked my heart do you feel what it has to say? Devil on my mind but he won’t lead me astray Slayed the head of Goliath with pen and paper but most importantly Gods grace

  The only prison there is the one of the mind. Our soul is the prisoner. The ego had such a strong hold on me I could never truly see my true self. When I succumbed to the ego and the egos of others I was losing a game that is meant to be won because through my actions are the only ones I can dictate. I told you niggas the game is meant to be played, stop being a player. Letting worldly things such as people, places, and things get to you, it will have you tricked out your energy (Inner G). ( I will go in depth about energy and the Inner G in my next poem and writing). See a lot of people lack self control but how can we lack self control when we are supposedly the ones controlling our selves? When you lack self control you let the ego get to you and you snap. My bestfriend gave a great analogy and said when someone kills someone and they get arrested and they begin to say "I don't know what came over me, I couldn't have done that." This is actually true, the "I

My heart is free but my body is a prison Trapped my Soul I’m serving a life sentence I am that I am so I don’t worry about the systems In a state of fully surrendering I’m glad God put me in this position Death is better than bondage why did I choose to come back to my minds prison? Detaching and breaking the cycles of karma In death my Soul will glisten I just told you how to not come back Did you listen?  

  I died today.  The way I thought about death is very different than now. I thought death was outside of myself, when someone is dead they lose their 5 senses but what if I told you we die everyday and all the time? You can experience death in this lifetime. I die when I let go of old habits, when I do something new, when I write, and when I go to someones funeral for example. How could this be? First, let me describe it as something outside of myself then connect it within. When someone dies, apart of ourselves die because we are losing the person we were when they were here. When I get rid of old habits the part of me that did that habit dies because I am not in the present moment doing it. We see death as something scary when it truly is liberating once you can inner stand the process. When we sleep we die, we relinquish the yesterday and create a for today. When you read this the person you were before not reading this has died. In death you gain life with the life you have gained

The Truth doesn’t change, only evolves Kinda like when a Tree falls and is still able to see all Just because the physical is gone doesn’t demean the fact it can’t recall All the things you did to make that Tree fall But it forgives and let’s the ground and plants around it evolve So did the Tree fall? Or did it seep it’s life into ALL.

  In my poem "All Eyes On Me" I stated that the child supersedes the parent. I say this because as a parent you want your kid to be better than you but what happens when their love for you becomes a obligation? It breeds hate. To heal from my perception of my childhood trauma I had to stop looking at my parents as people that were going to take care of me for my entire life. I had to look at them as regular people, that had their own struggles, wants, vices and needs just like I did. I was cared for, loved, fed, and clothed but that doesn't mean things weren't happening that could easily be forgotten or forgiven at the time. After a certain point when I started to find my way in life and I started messing up, I felt entitled to my mothers help. Parents are here to give the child the necessary tools to live without them. The family structure is so broken sometimes parents aren't able to teach us the things necessary to be on our own due to the fact it becomes an ob

  One thing I had to realize was that in this world we are characterized by our wealth, possessions, and achievements. If you don't have any of these things you are deemed worthless to society. No one really cares about your heart, creative ideas, passions, and mindset. We come out knowing we're going to have to go to school, work, and die. But why? Why doesn't anybody care about what someones heart is like? Why doesn't anybody value people as they are? Why does the voice of people not matter to anybody if it isn't someone with credentials? Why do peoples personal passions get hated on so much to the point where that person suppresses their dreams and they end up working a job they don't even like JUST to fit in? A passion or someones "calling" is important, who are we too tell them it isn't? God is creative we are meant to create, do the things we love, and help the people we can. We diminish and tear down each other because it is a reflection of

They call this new beginnings  I guess I’m back in the Book of Genesis  Recreating Heaven on Earth with God as my witness Relinquished the life of man and following my divine plan Through Christ I can do all things so I started making demands Like a kid in the candy story I got options God gave me wings to fly so I’m gon pop shit The child supercedes the parent that is the topic So when I say I’m not a regular nigga it just means I’m GOD sent

Your eyes are operated by a lobe in your brain. So if this is proven fact what I believe to be true is what I will see. So my reality is a byproduct of my thoughts and beliefs. When I stopped believing in duality that's when I learned all my depression and anxiety was a choice. I believed in these aspects of myself with all my heart and the God in me loved me so much She let me torment myself. Yes, the bad in your life is because God loves you so much. It's a hard pill to swallow indeed. God has never been human, She is unconditional love. Unconditional love transcends duality it gives what the heart desires and what the mind believes when they become one.  When I finally wanted healing all I wanted was a peace of mind. A change of mentality. Learning that the past, present, and future were all happening at once I needed to release the things from my past that were DEPRESSING me. I finally let go and let God. It is written that there will be heaven on earth and also said seek a

Black, Beautiful with Big eyes for windows you could see my soul Trauma, fear, and worldly things invaded my home I let them claim my throne God stood there and fought until I started destroying my home I became the things I let terrorize my home and sit on my throne Forgetting you were there to help me build and comfort me all along Now I return to a destroyed home Asking who, what, were, and why but it was me who left you alone On the journey to rebuild my lost home God is now my defense waiting and ready to kill whoever and whatever tries to reclaim my throne.

Everyone has a soul and an ego. Some don't even realize or consciously take notice of the split we have within ourselves. The ego is the act we portray to people and ourselves, this ego includes all of our likes, dislikes, and all the things you think that makes you, YOU. The ego can be considered the Devil, The Fallen Angel, etc. So if the ego is the act then who are you? Without a name, human attributes of duality and polarity, and possessions what is left? Your soul, this being is considered God, Source, Higher Self, etc. I am not one to believe that God is anything out of myself so when I speak of God in future poems and writings I am not talking about something that's in the sky or anywhere that can be touched because it is within you. When I speak of the Devil in my poems it is not a person that is under the ground that is all red with horns, a tail, and a trident this is within me as well characterized by my "human nature". These 2 things aren't bad they ma

I want to be free from these chains I try so hard but things remain the same Can't you see we’re in so much pain? Let me go and embrace change This is the key to your chains I gave you what you wanted now go back into the game You wont break free from these chains if you don't embrace change Why can't I have balance? Because you're too focused on picking a side We never told you to do that we’re a dual state of mind I don’t know how to be neutral in a world full of opposites  Don’t look to the world for your answer Come home to your heart, come home to your mind Eye makes you blind to the inside You don’t need to see to feel Ask your question, receive your answer  I can’t lie on the inside I must oblige

Is it FAITH or FATE? It's both. I invite you to act like you're standing at a crossroads. The left road leads down the path of the unknown, all you know is you have a strong FAITH in wanting better for yourself in all aspects. The right road road leads down the path you been taking which is going to be a cycle of events with the same choices that got you where you are in life now. Both brings you the outcome you want because you are choosing the path. You will say you will take the first path but subconsciously you are going to take the same path you been taking due to its comfortability, hoping you will "get it right this time." I wanted to change plenty of times until it was time to work to change then its back down the same road again. I am now on the left hand path. It's a whole lot of faith and a whole lot of work. It took work and faith to be on the right road as well so why not change my faith for the better?  Faith breeds fate and fate is due to your faith

The Choice                                                                                                                                                                               There’s always two sides to a coin you supposed to pick a side You let everybody choose for you, now look how you feel inside Asking yourself how to be yourself, that would look crazy in someones eyes Thinking back on the days where I lay with only chaos on my mind Thinking who and why but ultimately it is me that decides The fight has been won I’m experiencing it through these eyes So I sit back and sail my soul, we’re in for a bumpy ride

10/14/2022 12:28 AM                                                                                                                                                             Hello, My name is Paeshyns. I'm really not going to get into all the details regarding who I am because this blog is made for the people that have struggled and are continually struggling with everyday living. What prompted me to make this blog is the fact that I want to speak THE TRUTH through MY TRUTHS. I have struggled with depression, anxiety, mania, and other forms of psychological disorders. I am not here to change anybodies mind nor try to convince you of anything. I will speak on what I've experienced and tips on how to understand you and what you may be going through.  Furthermore, we as a society are so caught up in a world that makes you put on a mask to try to fit in, which in turn has people quite literally losing their minds. I have tried everything in the book to mask and fit in with the wo