What Road To Take?
Is it FAITH or FATE? It's both. I invite you to act like you're standing at a crossroads. The left road leads down the path of the unknown, all you know is you have a strong FAITH in wanting better for yourself in all aspects. The right road road leads down the path you been taking which is going to be a cycle of events with the same choices that got you where you are in life now. Both brings you the outcome you want because you are choosing the path. You will say you will take the first path but subconsciously you are going to take the same path you been taking due to its comfortability, hoping you will "get it right this time." I wanted to change plenty of times until it was time to work to change then its back down the same road again. I am now on the left hand path. It's a whole lot of faith and a whole lot of work. It took work and faith to be on the right road as well so why not change my faith for the better?
Faith breeds fate and fate is due to your faith. When I wanted better for myself that was my faith and continuing to want that bred my fate which was I got better for myself in all aspects. See the thing about God is we as humans make our beds in Hell and we lay in it because we get comfortable with the circumstances after awhile. Everything in life is a choice. EVERYTHING. It was my choice to be depressed, it was my choice to let my childhood trauma linger on into my teenage years, it was my choice to separate myself from the God that dwelled in me, it was my choice to be angry and bitter, it was my choice. We can come up with excuses all day but I had to ask myself.. When was I going to take accountability for demeaning myself for so long? Letting everything get to me? Letting my mind spew hateful things to me because I said them to others? Undermining all my positive aspects and letting the negative shine with glory.
I had to be HONEST with myself about what caused my life to be so shitty. It was me. It was so easy to blame my shortcomings on depression, it was so easy to put my mask on and act like everything was okay when it wasn't, it was so easy to doubt myself because I never thought I'd be able to get even a glimpse of my dreams. It's so easy to blame others and external factors on why you are the way you are the hard part comes when you have to face the fact that you were being your own greatest liability. It was so easy for me to let others dictate my life for me while I sat back and watched. Let me give you an example, let's say you want a job but you doubt yourself because so many people want this job and they probably wouldn't even think about picking you. You just put your mind in turmoil. You have just cursed yourself unknowing to you. You end up not getting the job and you get upset about it... but why? You didn't speak life onto yourself and your mind gave you exactly what you wanted and had faith in and that was the lack of the job due to everybody else.
Jumping into the unknown has so many possibilities and I started with asking God for a peace of mind. In turn, He gave me the keys to life. It is not out of reach for anybody but you have to be willing to put the work in everyday. Also, I had to get out the mindset that God isn't something outside of me and if this was true that would mean he's easily accessible when I realized this I wanted to speak with that nigga cause what was I doing so wrong? So I started journaling, at first I would just write down what I was doing, the things that I was feeling, then it turned into asking why I was feeling the way I did and what I needed to do to change them. These simple writings turned into figuring out what got me into a depressed state and I started writing poems. My poems are written straight from my soul it gave me the answers I needed to the problems I was facing.
The poem "The Choice" was my turning point instead of blaming everyone and everything I stood on changing for the better I knew this wasn't going to be easy but as long as I got better I didn't care what I had to do. Spirituality was something I dibbled and dabbled in then I met my boyfriend. We started having deep conversations about it and he helped me on my path to self-realization. I thank him so much for seeing something in me that I didn't see in myself at the time but I had to ask... if other people could see it why couldn't I? I researched and was writing almost everyday while at work. When I had a problem a poem would come to me right after giving me the answer I needed. This hobby I had for writing turned into a conversation between me and God! All the ascended masters spoke on meditation and that's when I took learning about things within spirituality to applying the wisdom and getting my own personal answers while meditating.
So I ask you, when you close your eyes and the inner talking proceeds who and what is that voice inside of you and why aren't you talking back? SEEK AND YE SHALL FIND MY NIGGA!
I love y'all!
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