Soulfully Fed

  Situations, people, and things come into your life to show you who you are by way of your response. You cannot control what comes into your life, the only thing you can control is your response to said thing. We tend to run away from the negative experiences and embrace the positive ones when both are coming to show you an aspect of yourself. Being present in both situations is ideal but it's easier said than done. Taking a moment to be present can bring clarity. I often ask myself why something is bothering me? What is this bringing up in me? I have to make sense of what's going on with me because ignoring it doesn't end well. The constant battle of being avoidant and anxious is crazy because your mind can lead you down the craziest scenarios and pathways that didn't even happen.  In my poem I talk about the battle of Self and the solution to it. You avoid yourself even though you’re constantly reminded of yourself. You cannot escape you. In the case of avoiding ones

The box closes me in more when I put on a mask of "I don't care" I convince Self that's it's better in here and scary out there Ignoring my Soul then claiming I'm unaware  Even though I'm constantly reminded of the dangers of going into despair Being bare is the only thing the Truth responds to The breakthrough comes when you're not afraid to express what's inside you

 We are in Hell. Down here you will experience and go through trauma. It's a purification that is taking place down here. You descend and go through your lowest of lows to reach your highest of highs. Spiritual warfare keeps coming up for me and one thing people don't realize is the Truth is always in plain sight. The unseen can be seen once you are ready to see. My experience with my own trauma helped me understand my own internal battle. My abandonment issues with my dad, emotionally unavailable mom, broken home issues, "anxiety", "depression" all those things are spiritual battles. As kids we are the closest things to God. Being limited in understanding your parents are supposed to protect you but if they are not spiritually aware trauma seeps in and its like a plague. It always starts with the generations before and trickles down. Generational curses. Nothing is a coincidence. So I had to understand that even my trauma was ordained and that's where p

Nailing her to the cross was just a start  I am cutting her wounds deep, it’s going to leave a mark She is sacrificing herself so I can use the pieces to make an arc She is my arc so we won’t be apart I’m just tired of being the light encased within the dark

"Blue Monday" - Annie Lee You will never be enough for someone that has no self love, self awareness or will power. People pleasing has been a huge problem for me. You are consciously entering into a contract that has no end unless you put a stop to it. In my poem "Egotistical Love" I address the matters of the contract. Not only does this apply to romantic relationships it applies to platonic as well. People not only want you to live their life for them but they also want you to carry their crosses and save them. I had to come to an understanding of why everyone kept coming to me for all the things. Nobody wants to do the work no matter what that work may be. Everyone wants an easy way out and everyone wants to skip steps using my name. I will not go through your Hell and carry you while my feet get burned. Nobody came to save me while I was in my Hell you know why? Because I never wanted to drag anybody down there with me. Most people are just getting to know the

Play this game for me Change for me Energy exchange for me Wash away the pain for me Love is a gamble You got more heart to spend? I need more x10 Dont worry you might be able to mend it yourself in the end You must not have read the fine print my friend

All my life yall had me thinking I was a demon Ms. Attitude but never pinpointed the reason Thawed out my heart now my Soul beaming Can’t you see it? Everytime I write this shit come to life This is my Soul cleaning 2023 is the year of completion full of lessons, blessings, or deletion I know you can’t see it but my God said be still, I’m up next in line to redeem it The first shall be last and the last shall be first I’m just writing to be obedient

Art by: @GroovyChi  January 5, 2023 As I sit here trying to figure out how to break this in, the repetition of the saying "sailing my soul" keeps coming to mind. What does this truly mean to me? I haven't explored this topic in depth but I feel the saying. So for me it's all about the journey the ups, downs, forward, and backward motions. The good, the bad, and everything in between. Usually I have been so adamant on trying to control the journey to not mess up but it is truly in the mess where you find the thing that takes you out of it. For me I rather not be in control, I rather not stress about tomorrow or my life in general because like I said in my poem the story is already written. If you take the ego out of it God wins. Which means I win. There is a quote from a video I seen that said, "crashing simply means you did indeed managed to soar". We so often have a tendency to recognize and validate our failures, our moments of crashing or hitting rock bot

Coming to terms with the fact nothing seems real anymore Consciousness is just observing, I’m not really in control like I thought before Be like water and let things flow is something I’m learning to endure After all I’m just sailing right to Deaths door Why be in control when the story is already written? Paeshyns never existed, I’m just experiencing a possibility of a life sentence Trapped in a dream, I’ll wake up when it’s finished

   They say you have to lose your life to gain it. I can say that wholeheartedly this is the Truth. I am finally breaking through, again lol. This year for me was all about transformation, learning, losing, gaining and seeing things for what they truly are and not what my delusions made them to be due to trying to protect myself. You cannot go through this world protecting yourself from hurt. I mean we are in Hell what did you expect? Reliving childhood trauma and even seeing it from my moms perspective has made me aware to the fact that I am the one to break the repeating cycle. Breaking the cycle of being okay with the bare minimum, the cycle of a broken household, the cycle of generational trauma, and the cycle of telling yourself it's okay when truly it's not. God broke me down to my core, put me into situations, placed me at the forefront of my trauma, and opened my eyes to the wickedness of people and this world because I had to see these things from a higher perspective.

Got the keys to Life itself Should I open the door? Or leave the keys on the shelf? Ghetto Pandoras Box You shouldve seen how I felt When God opened the door and pulled me through Himself Big ball of light in my dreams I was just a baby Integrated as one you might think I’m a little crazy Nothing goes unchecked, I’m viewing what God does daily  Soul Glowing, Hollywood Dreaming I’m just growing into what made me

  I am in energy exchanges everyday. When I focus on something, have a conversation, or when I'm just thinking. Everything is energy from you to the chair you sit on, it holds energy. Speaking on conversations, when you are speaking you are projecting your thoughts and energy onto others. Everybody has their own energy field! I have to be mindful who has access to this. I had to notice when I got around certain people I would feel DRAINED and WEAK, I lacked spiritual awareness. Unknowing to me at the time I am willingly giving my energy away by remaining in a space that is uncomfortable. I would let people post up all on my energy field and I would just pass it off like it was nothing. Naive. Another example is when you enter a room and you feel uneasy or the vibe is off your INNER G(od) is telling you something and most likely you need to get up through! Listen to your intuition or your gut feeling it will never steer you wrong. Someone that I know named Myka aka @soulaaangelll sa

You lay back while everyone takes your center stage They speak, you listen it’s not always a fair exchange As you approach the stage your thoughts quickly snatch you away Overthinking on what they might say Soul front and center you will hear what She has to say Boundaries firm in place Not too many words to say Just that I deserve a fair exchange

  As I continue on my journey I am going through three main stages. Life, Death, and Creation. Since a child I am programmed to like certain things, be a certain way, do certain things without ever taking a thought of who I truly am. Going through this cycle brings up my egos which are represented by the head necklace on the image of Kali Ma above. She has slayed these egos and has considerably become what I see as the Demons Queen. She isn't a demon and neither am I, I am the Queen of these mfs! We all have our vices which can be considered and what I identify as my demons. These demons can represent many different things but most importantly for me they are a way to self transformation. Once I identify what they are I can create them to serve another purpose in my life. I have a problem with overthinking, overanalyzing, and just overall trying to be perfect knowing that's not possible. I didn't see it as such a problem but this actually hinders me tremendously because doi

My falls into Hell are few far and in between I just had to go down there and regulate some shit so they feel seen They are not my friends they’re my enemies at any moment I know they’ll try and backstab me They know not what they do so I cant help but love them wholeheartedly  Keep your friends close but your enemies closer thats the message that should be received I say and they do that’s what happens when you become the Queen Now back to my God where I will be still and take heed This won’t be the last you here from me Love, The Queen

  I am not perfect but I am guarded by perfection. Sometimes I can get so overwhelmed in my day to day activities I ignore who I have on my side. I am learning to actually trust God because he hasn't steered me wrong yet and always keeps his promises so why can't I keep mine? I fall sometimes but God quickly snatches me back up from the wickedness of my old thinking patterns and ways. I HAVE EXPERIENCED IT. For example, today I drunk some tea while doing some work and I knew I had set items to finish, the tea made me sleepy and I was nodding off until I HEARD "stand up" and I did, then I heard "sit down" then "stand up" and I stood up for awhile until I heard again "sit down". After following that I had energy and completed my work! Y'all just probably thinking all she did was stand up, nah I LISTENED.  If I don't follow the simple directions and solutions how could I possibly trust Him when the bigger ones arise? Sometimes God te

Guarded in Gods presense saves me from my day to day These poems took a turn that’s because I found my way Unlocked my heart do you feel what it has to say? Devil on my mind but he won’t lead me astray Slayed the head of Goliath with pen and paper but most importantly Gods grace

  The only prison there is the one of the mind. Our soul is the prisoner. The ego had such a strong hold on me I could never truly see my true self. When I succumbed to the ego and the egos of others I was losing a game that is meant to be won because through my actions are the only ones I can dictate. I told you niggas the game is meant to be played, stop being a player. Letting worldly things such as people, places, and things get to you, it will have you tricked out your energy (Inner G). ( I will go in depth about energy and the Inner G in my next poem and writing). See a lot of people lack self control but how can we lack self control when we are supposedly the ones controlling our selves? When you lack self control you let the ego get to you and you snap. My bestfriend gave a great analogy and said when someone kills someone and they get arrested and they begin to say "I don't know what came over me, I couldn't have done that." This is actually true, the "I

My heart is free but my body is a prison Trapped my Soul I’m serving a life sentence I am that I am so I don’t worry about the systems In a state of fully surrendering I’m glad God put me in this position Death is better than bondage why did I choose to come back to my minds prison? Detaching and breaking the cycles of karma In death my Soul will glisten I just told you how to not come back Did you listen?  

  I died today.  The way I thought about death is very different than now. I thought death was outside of myself, when someone is dead they lose their 5 senses but what if I told you we die everyday and all the time? You can experience death in this lifetime. I die when I let go of old habits, when I do something new, when I write, and when I go to someones funeral for example. How could this be? First, let me describe it as something outside of myself then connect it within. When someone dies, apart of ourselves die because we are losing the person we were when they were here. When I get rid of old habits the part of me that did that habit dies because I am not in the present moment doing it. We see death as something scary when it truly is liberating once you can inner stand the process. When we sleep we die, we relinquish the yesterday and create a for today. When you read this the person you were before not reading this has died. In death you gain life with the life you have gained

The Truth doesn’t change, only evolves Kinda like when a Tree falls and is still able to see all Just because the physical is gone doesn’t demean the fact it can’t recall All the things you did to make that Tree fall But it forgives and let’s the ground and plants around it evolve So did the Tree fall? Or did it seep it’s life into ALL.

  In my poem "All Eyes On Me" I stated that the child supersedes the parent. I say this because as a parent you want your kid to be better than you but what happens when their love for you becomes a obligation? It breeds hate. To heal from my perception of my childhood trauma I had to stop looking at my parents as people that were going to take care of me for my entire life. I had to look at them as regular people, that had their own struggles, wants, vices and needs just like I did. I was cared for, loved, fed, and clothed but that doesn't mean things weren't happening that could easily be forgotten or forgiven at the time. After a certain point when I started to find my way in life and I started messing up, I felt entitled to my mothers help. Parents are here to give the child the necessary tools to live without them. The family structure is so broken sometimes parents aren't able to teach us the things necessary to be on our own due to the fact it becomes an ob

  One thing I had to realize was that in this world we are characterized by our wealth, possessions, and achievements. If you don't have any of these things you are deemed worthless to society. No one really cares about your heart, creative ideas, passions, and mindset. We come out knowing we're going to have to go to school, work, and die. But why? Why doesn't anybody care about what someones heart is like? Why doesn't anybody value people as they are? Why does the voice of people not matter to anybody if it isn't someone with credentials? Why do peoples personal passions get hated on so much to the point where that person suppresses their dreams and they end up working a job they don't even like JUST to fit in? A passion or someones "calling" is important, who are we too tell them it isn't? God is creative we are meant to create, do the things we love, and help the people we can. We diminish and tear down each other because it is a reflection of